I Am

I now know i'm not alone, you just described my li...

2009-10-31T14:33:00.678-04:00

I now know i'm not alone, you just described my life. I hoping things change because i'm not happy anymore.

I already read it, Guy, but thanks :-). And yes ...

2009-08-26T14:23:53.626-04:00

I already read it, Guy, but thanks :-).

And yes - you found me!

Cancer sucks. But -- and it's easy for me to say ...

2009-08-26T04:34:54.308-04:00

Cancer sucks. But -- and it's easy for me to say this now (40yo and reasonably healthy) -- I'd rather have cancer or some other disease, where you get some heads-up -- than some "instant" thing like a car wreck or a heart attack.

I gots too many loose ends that need tying up; too many unfinished projects.

--GG

"(the best Charelston export since myself)" That'...

2009-08-26T04:12:25.632-04:00

"(the best Charelston export since myself)"

That's a good line. :)

You should be an author: sounds like you're tortured enough. ;)

--GG

Oh: Mixed-Race stuff -- a really good book called...

2009-08-26T04:02:12.106-04:00

Oh: Mixed-Race stuff -- a really good book called BLACK, WHITE, OTHER. Available used, for about $3 + shipping, at Amazon.com --
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0688143474/ref=sr_1_olp_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251273677&sr=1-1

--GG

G, Ah. There you are...!!! (I'd given up c...

2009-08-26T04:00:27.101-04:00

G,

Ah. **There** you are...!!! (I'd given up checking your old blog.)

BTW - good post. :)

I find it ironic that a bunch of working-class/middle-class, medium-brown kids from the U.S. are in Africa, telling their colleague that **she's** not "black". (I'm assuming none of those kids spoke Kiswahili, Somali, or Bantu. Poseurs.)

--GG

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

2009-08-22T12:41:40.391-04:00

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

Come to Charleston, Susan. Let us convert you. Act...

2009-08-22T12:41:11.774-04:00

Come to Charleston, Susan. Let us convert you. Actually - even if you moved there today your great-great grandchildren would be the fiorst generation who could call themselves Charlestonians. We're bitchy like that :-)

Deacon - I hope it's easier for her too and I real...

2009-08-22T12:39:39.761-04:00

Deacon - I hope it's easier for her too and I really think it will be. BTW Duran Duran had the first racially mixed music video couple on MTV (Hungry Like the Wolf). Which is not the first reason why I ADORE them, but is one of them. Your wife has great taste :-)

Hearts - everyone has thier cross(es) to bear. This just happens to be one of mine. I try to look at it like that, and succeed most of the time...
ps - i miss you! glad you found me!

Anyone stupid enough to try to pigeonhole everyone...

2009-08-20T00:52:47.925-04:00

Anyone stupid enough to try to pigeonhole everyone for their own convenience doesn't deserve your pain, but of course you know that. We are nearly all ethnically mixed, even though most of us don't know our ancestry beyond a generation or two back. I think that being the child of multiple cultures is extremely lucky, despite the difficulties, because the more gene pools you draw from, the more unique and special you are.

I already feel weird enough trying to fit into lif...

2009-08-19T10:12:25.906-04:00

I already feel weird enough trying to fit into life as a liberal guy who believes in the God and Jesus laid out in the Bible. I don't want to imagine what it's like to have to live up to the aspirations and expectations of substantial numbers of members of an entire racial bloc. And I won't ever have to, of course, because that's one of the many perqs of white privilege, for better or worse.

Much like my own wife, G, you've been your own person and stood up for yourself, it seems like (and my wife had plenty of so-called white interests in high school, too, the music of Duran Duran among them). That course can bring pain, of course, but I suspect its the truest, healthiest and best course of action in the long run.

I just hope it's a little less painful for my little 4-year-old multiracial girl than for you or my wife.

- Deacon Blue

I don't miss my old home town at all. Oh wait, I s...

2009-08-18T11:29:13.229-04:00

I don't miss my old home town at all. Oh wait, I still work here.

This made me cry. Thank you for writing this. I l...

2009-08-06T11:15:53.898-04:00

This made me cry. Thank you for writing this. I love you.

Thanks, Susan. To be honest I'm just tired of losi...

2009-07-31T17:22:17.879-04:00

Thanks, Susan. To be honest I'm just tired of losing people I love.

Be there as best you can but be honest with yourse...

2009-07-30T15:50:22.523-04:00

Be there as best you can but be honest with yourself and realize things most likely won't be okay..

I have no words that help but I'm here if you need me.

I get it Susan. I've stopped seeing him. It was n...

2009-07-30T10:19:58.350-04:00

I get it Susan.
I've stopped seeing him. It was never anything serious, but it felt like I was being used and at some point I just wasn't lonely enough to let that happen anymore, you know?

When you see him you'll remember that you are strong and that you can never take back the things you do. AND that I love you no matter what you do.

Thank you. Really.

2009-07-30T10:16:03.132-04:00

Thank you. Really.

So sorry.

2009-07-28T16:34:26.382-04:00

So sorry.

So I just realized you moved. I'm catching up on r...

2009-07-24T15:19:54.510-04:00

So I just realized you moved. I'm catching up on reading and this was one I had to comment on (The one above is just too heartbreaking at the moment to comment)...

I have been the other woman repeatedly. This past April it actually went to the point of no return with someone and it's something I'm still not sure how I feel about to this day. As the other woman in situations I can related with the lack of feeling guilt. Seriously, I can. I partially think it's due to my mindset of "everything happens for a reason" or maybe "if he was happy with her he wouldn't be here with me". The April incident, though, made me stop and think. While he was around anyone else he did nothing but talk about his wife and their child. When he was with me he talked about nothing but us doing what we'd done again. I'll see him again in a little over a month.

Even though I'm kind of seeing someone now I'm terrified of what might happen when we're together again.

I think the most surprising thing about this confe...

2009-07-12T03:28:00.102-04:00

I think the most surprising thing about this confession is that you say you don't trust him. Why on earth would you trust a man who is cheating on two women simultaneously?

I don't believe that any one act defines a person. We are all far more complex than that. He seems to answer some need you have, loneliness or boredom.

Your lack of guilt is probably because you know that if he really cared for his girlfriend, he wouldn't be in your bed, or someone else's.

He may be good in bed, but he sounds like a lousy person. You deserve better but you won't find it while you're involved with this guy. Good luck!

Hi there! I am surprised that you haven't posted ...

2009-07-07T20:06:20.554-04:00

Hi there!

I am surprised that you haven't posted about Michael Jackson...

I'll be back...

Ditto to what Heart said.

2009-07-07T16:25:53.073-04:00

Ditto to what Heart said.

OK, I don't understand this OpenID thing, obviousl...

2009-06-29T17:15:02.803-04:00

OK, I don't understand this OpenID thing, obviously. G, holyhell is Deacon Blue; not sure why it displays the way it did.

No single relationship or action (or even a small ...

2009-06-29T17:13:19.086-04:00

No single relationship or action (or even a small bunch of them) defines you as a person, G.

Now, as to the rightness or wrongness of this.

Some thoughts:

You are clearly in it to get some kind of pleasure. You don't like him much, you don't seem to want to keep him. You are obviously enjoying yourself on some level. I suspect that sums up why you're doing this.

You probably should care more about what you are doing in relation to the other woman, but then again, so should he. You're not the sole insigator here.

And, not to let you off the hook or anything (because I'm not), but there is also a world of difference between messing with a guy who's got another girlfriend (which as I read this is what you are doing) vs. messing with a married man (which is more fucked up).

I would advise you, if you want advice, that is, to log away the pleasant memories you've garnered from this, end the relationship, and work toward connecting with someone (a) available, (b) who will treat you right and (c) whom you will treat right.

It's not easy, but it is possible. The question is how do you managed the loneliness in between? I don't have an answer to that.

Intrepid - I agree with you. I do have a questions...

2009-06-29T13:54:30.777-04:00

Intrepid - I agree with you. I do have a questions though - do you think that this one thing would define the person that I am?

I Am

I now know i'm not alone, you just described my li...

I already read it, Guy, but thanks :-). And yes ...

Cancer sucks. But -- and it's easy for me to say ...

"(the best Charelston export since myself)" That'...

Oh: Mixed-Race stuff -- a really good book called...

G, Ah. **There** you are...!!! (I'd given up c...

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

Come to Charleston, Susan. Let us convert you. Act...

Deacon - I hope it's easier for her too and I real...

Anyone stupid enough to try to pigeonhole everyone...

I already feel weird enough trying to fit into lif...

I don't miss my old home town at all. Oh wait, I s...

This made me cry. Thank you for writing this. I l...

Thanks, Susan. To be honest I'm just tired of losi...

Be there as best you can but be honest with yourse...

I get it Susan. I've stopped seeing him. It was n...

Thank you. Really.

So sorry.

So I just realized you moved. I'm catching up on r...

I think the most surprising thing about this confe...

Hi there! I am surprised that you haven't posted ...

Ditto to what Heart said.

OK, I don't understand this OpenID thing, obviousl...

No single relationship or action (or even a small ...

Intrepid - I agree with you. I do have a questions...

G, Ah. There you are...!!! (I'd given up c...